Anyone But You is garnering a lot of attention as the true return to romcoms.
Perhaps we should kill the genre entirely if this is the direction they are going in. Anyone But You spares no expense on chiseled abs and big tits, but it apparently blew its budget on only that and the location. You cannot convince me that a writer was hired at all. I would not have been surprised if ChatGPT got writer’s credit on this movie. I, of course, did not pay attention to the credits because they are rolled over an extremely cringe song and dance montage.
“ChatGPT, make me a script for a movie that follows the plot of Much Ado About Nothing but with hotter people that have no character”
Not one of the conversations between characters feels like they are human. The dialogue is abysmal. But, don’t worry! At least it is delivered by a set of actors with the combined range of a fencepost: Flat, wooden, and unbelievably stiff. I could not believe these were the final takes that they KEPT. I also felt a little insulted by this movie because it spoon-feeds EVERYTHING to you. I have seen movies that treated the audience like idiots before, but not to this level. At one point, two characters gave each others’ backgrounds to one another (because we, as an audience are simply too stupid to gleam this information) while introducing our main characters in a bar. “Hey you remember my sister Bea?” “Yeah you remember my brother Beau? And his roommate Ben? He has been a lifelong friend?”
Oh thank God I got the entire background between these two families, so I don’t have to use my brain at all. You might be thinking, “well that wasn’t that bad of an example, what are you harping on?” I didn’t tell you that these people talking to each other are are soon-to-be married women. That presumably live together. And have been together for a long time. That surely talk all the time… These women are together! Why the fuck would she ever have to introduce her sister that LIVES IN THE SAME TOWN. The other sister’s brother ALSO LIVES IN THE SAME TOWN and they see each other all the time. Why on Earth would the brother’s roommate need to be introduced? It is honestly insulting that the AI that wrote this thinks we humans won’t be able to figure this out. Almost every single line in this movie is just like this. Some weird background followed by a supposed joke. I really honestly feel this movie may be one of the worst written movies of all time.
So why does everyone seem to like this movie?
Tits
That’s it. Not only did they save budget on not hiring a writer, they saved on wardrobe as well! ALL of the characters are practically naked the entire movie. Almost every time they are dressed, it’s to drive the scene to the next beat that they get to rip their clothes off. But hey… if you like that, it’s probably a pretty good movie. You certainly aren’t watching it for the plot, acting, characters, jokes, or the romance… Which is sort of the entire point of a romcom.
Okay that’s enough. I can usually find something good about a movie. But, to me, this one should have went straight in the trash. I have watched a lot of bad movies in my life, but I have never felt like they wasted my time. Anyone But You is an absolute waste of time.
Anyone But You gets a Bomb out of 4. This movie is potentially the worst movie I have ever watched. The dialogue is horrifyingly bad. The acting is on par with the dialogue. One of the biggest shames? This movie made me mad to see boobs even.
Oh and the driving force of the characters hating one another? A giant wrench that Ben lovingly has displayed in his house. This giant wrench is the driving plot point for the entire movie. I will admit that the wrench gives one of the better performances of everyone on screen though. “If you can dodge a ball, you can dodge a wrench.” I’m sure you know that quote from the movie Dodgeball. Please God take that advice and dodge this movie at all costs. Absolutely mind-numbing bullshit that treats its audience like idiots.