Now I could have sworn that I have never played this game before. I have, however, played both sequels. So, I decided to try the new remaster. I quickly realized that I HAD played this game before. I remembered the entire story and all the missions. At first I thought it was just an unremarkable mobster story or something, but then I was remembering every single detail of the plot. I completely forgot that I had played this game on my original Xbox. But sure enough, it’s sitting right on my shelf.

So, will the remaster be a little more memorable? Let’s dive right in.

First and foremost, I have to address my opening statement here. The plot IS a totally unremarkable mobster story. That’s probably why I forgot it. You play as a guy that is at the wrong place at the wrong time and ends up helping the mafia. He is immediately hooked by the lifestyle and it’s off to the races (literally, more on that in a bit). You beat people up, collect money, and perform all the mafia things that you can imagine. Then, as most mobster stories go, your gang and your character start biting off more than they can chew. They start stepping out of their territory and find themselves in the middle of a war. It’s predictable and goes through the paces. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The story is interesting and the characters are likable. Although the voice acting for some of the characters are laughable. The accents are over the top and just a little ridiculous to be honest. But that’s easily forgivable. The game does keep the missions interesting, however. It’s short and sweet and does not overstay its welcome. The story is fine, albeit forgettable.

The main bulk of gameplay is either driving or shooting. The shooting is fine. It’s a third person shooter with a cover-based shooting style. Sort of like Gears of War. It’s fine, but nothing remarkable. The driving, however, can be extremely frustrating. Especially if you are running from the cops and are low-health. The cars handle like… well… vehicles from the 1930’s. So it perfectly fits! It’s just not that fun. They handle like tanks. They are slow and clunky. Sure some of the cars are fast (some are too quick), but those handle horrible. If you clip a corner of a pole or a fence or anything, it’s game over. Your car will take forever to recover and most the time the cops or other gang members are already on you by that point.

Now, I have an important detail about my playthrough: I played on the hardest difficulty. I am a sucker for achievements and there is an achievement for completing the game on the hardest difficulty. So a lot of these gripes are basically only a problem on the hardest difficulty. I think if you were playing on normal, the car chases might not be as frustrating. Essentially, on the hardest difficulty, if you hit a pole or even take too long to lockpick the car to get it started, you’re dead. This led to so many times in my playthrough where I was stuck in a loop of dying and loading the last checkpoint. I would try stealing a car, turning left, and would be shot and die. So then I would steal the car, turn right, and die. So then I would kill one cop, steal the car, turn left, and then die. It was so annoying to just crawl my way from one checkpoint to the next some times. It really devolved to just trial and error until I could escape by the skin of my teeth. I’m sure there are plenty of people that can just fly through the hardest difficulty. But figuring it out one checkpoint at a time got old fairly quickly. But! I did make it through on the hardest difficulty and only had six or seven times that I thought about uninstalling my game.

Which brings me to the infamous part of the game. The chapter with the race. This is actually a really interesting part of the story and is probably the coolest thing that happens plot-wise. But the chapter itself is nightmare-fuel. If you Google any strategy guides about this game, this is the first one that pops up. Everybody struggles with this race. You have to win the race to advance the plot. But as I said earlier, the cars just do not control very well. If you clip one corner or one other opponent in the race, just reload your checkpoint, it’s basically over. If you fall behind at all in the race, it’s next to impossible to win. It’s just so so hard. Making it through the carnage of the first corner seems like simple RNG. Sometimes you make it and sometimes you don’t. Then you just have to do three perfect laps from there. Easy right? Not really. I didn’t have as much trouble as a lot of people, but I will admit that I was getting frustrated with the games mechanics during this scene.

The last thing I want to talk about is all the side content. There are a TON of collectibles in this game. Like 180 or something. They are scattered all over the world and some are only hidden in certain chapters of the story. Now, I usually hate collectibles, especially when there are hundreds of them. But, these are pretty fun. They are old pulp magazines, cigarette cards, and cool “futuristic” vehicles. Surprisingly, collecting everything was my favorite part of the game. It was cool just driving around the world and looking at all the 1930’s stuff. It was the most enjoyable part of my playthrough.

What was the overall feeling of Mafia? Forgettable. I understand how I completely forgot that I had already played this game or that I even own it. I played through this game, did everything this game has to offer, and I got every achievement. And to be honest, I STILL don’t really remember it. It’s just a cut and paste mob story. This game is honestly unremarkable. I do think the remake is beautiful and looks wonderful running on a Xbox Series X, but that’s about it. I did have fun, but there is little to no reason to return to this game. Except in twenty years when I forgot that I have already played it.

I give the Mafia remake a 2 out of 4. It’s right down the middle for me. It’s fun in parts and awful in parts. It’s frustratingly hard in parts and really slow in parts. The setting is fun and I love the 1930’s stuff, but that’s not enough to bring me back.